Brace yourself bad hombres! The most famous locks in all the land are going on tour and according to President Trump’s latest executive order, you’re all legally mandated to come with. This light and fluffy cotton candy is guaranteed to melt in your mouth faster than Donald melts down in front of the press gallery. Whether you need a sweet afternoon fix or an easily transportable treat to bribe a foreign friend or dignitary, Trump Hair Candy’s got your back. Just one taste and you and your shady business associates will be going bananas for this banana-flavored hair helmet.
According to something POTUS read, or saw, or heard, but can’t remember where this Bag of Trump Hair is the greatest fringe benefit to come out of Washington. Period.
The Official Cotton Candy of America is Made from 100% organic sugar and all natural ingredients
Still think this is fake news? Fine. Just read our testimonials:
“Magnificent. The best. A truly great brand of cotton covfefe” – Donald
“О ч е н ь в к у с н а я к о н ф е т а ” – Vladimir
“I don’t know what cotton candy is. But if cotton candy is a force for good, then I’m going to be eating a lot of cotton candy” – Ivanka
“MMM Candy” – C. Christie
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NEED A LOL GIFT – Get that special someone some a Bag of Trump Hair! A great gift for any occasion, this lighthearted treat is sure to brighten up the day of adults and kidsalike! PERFECT SUMMER – Imagine the refreshing, all natural banana flavor paired with your next backyard bbq, beach party, or protest! GREAT VALUE – Get 3x more cotton candy! Bag of Trump Hair comes with 3oz of hand-spun, organic banana goodness, plenty to share, OR NOT BE CAUSE- For every Bag of Trump Hair sold Bad Thread will donate 10% to Green Job Training efforts. MADE IN USA – This premium Bag of Trump Hair is the most desired gift ever. Period. We hand harvest each bag directly at the source, one strand at a time. A great delicacy for July 4th, birthdays, picnics, and more!